On May 19, The University of Michigan hosted a leadership symposium called “ Profiles in Leadership: Conversations with Betsy Myers and Michigan Leaders.”

I moderated a panel on how to create successful women leaders. The panel consisted of several amazing women, including University of Michigan Dean of Education, Deborah Loewenberg Ball and Eastern Michigan University General Counsel, Gloria Hage. Michigan’s First Gentleman, Dan Mulhern, also participated. He is married to Governor Jennifer M. Granholm.

As First Gentleman, Dan has volunteered his time and energy on numerous projects - from chairing the Michigan Community Service Commission to promoting the practices of Michigan’s companies recognized as “great companies to work for.” He is also an accomplished leadership coach, organizational development expert, leadership author and alum of Harvard Law School.

What struck me about our panel conversation was Dan’s willingness to talk openly about supporting his wife’s political career and caring for their 3 children over the past decade. Our culture does not yet completely embrace men taking a back seat to their wife’s ambitions. Although it has become much more commonplace, it is still a difficult role reversal for many men to admit or talk about. Dan Mulhern has been authentically modeling a new way to think about how we choose our roles and what might be best for our family.

In his book, Everyday Leadership, he shares a story about the night his wife accepted the nomination to be Michigan’s attorney general. As Dan and his children stood on the stage, their infant son suddenly needed a diaper change. It was not something that could wait and he made his way off the stage to find a bathroom. In retelling the story, Dan was willing to address both his feelings of pride for his wife and his personal conflict around his own ambition and ego.

Dan’s willingness to share his personal experiences, insights and decision making involving dual careers and raising children showed us his human side. One of his leadership suggestions was that we must support men’s efforts to liberate themselves from roles and thought patterns that hold back both men and women from achieving their individual greatness. This is exactly what women desire for their lives. Dan is breaking a different kind of glass ceiling and while he leads the way for men, he is also blazing a trail for women and girls. His personal leadership philosophy centers on being of service and treating each other as human beings. Dan Mulhern walks his talk. He is a leader to watch and a role model for us all.

During my visit to Taiwan, I was able to visit two of the county Governors, Hsi-Wei (Joe) Chou from Taipei County and Chiu-Hsing Yang of Kaohsiung County. I observed in both leaders a similar leadership style where people matter.

Each governor hosted a leadership forum in their county that included speeches, a panel discussion about leadership and a luncheon banquet. What struck me was how I learned about their real authentic leadership style. It was not by the remarks given at the leadership forum or by the hospitality shown at the celebration banquet but rather by observing small acts of humanity that shone a light into their REAL leadership.

As Governor Chou and I walked together in the Taipei county government building, we heard someone screaming. As we got closer we saw a distraught man surrounded by four security guards trying to apprehend him. He was screaming that he wanted to speak with the Governor about an indignity that happened to him. He had a letter he had written and was waving it toward the Governor. The security guards, conscious that the governor would soon be passing by with guests, seemed especially aggressive towards the man. Instead of walking past and ignoring the highly uncomfortable situation, the governor walked towards it. He asked the guards to back away and he spoke to the man in a respectful way. He was able to calm the situation by his willingness to treat this distraught man as a human being. He promised to read the letter and look into the situation As we continued to walk together, he shared his leadership philosophy with me. “It is about treating people with respect and showing them you care”, he said. “Whether the man was right, wrong or with mental issues, he deserved the respect of his government and the governor”. This small act showed me more about the governor than any words he said on the panel that day in front of 1,000 of his constituents. It is often the smallest acts that show us someone’s real truth.

I spent Saturday afternoon with Governor Yang in Kaihsiung County. Before the leadership forum, he wanted to show me the market he had created during his time as governor. He was very proud of the economic opportunity now available for his constituents, many who are quite poor. As we walked through the market, I noticed his excitement and pride at every stand and with every product. He never stopped smiling, introducing the vendors (mostly women) and their wares to me. Governor Yang was a clearly beloved figure there. Later in the day at a banquet with women community leaders, the admiration for him was also palpable. His commitment to women and empowerment was a key aspect of his leadership. It was not just his words of leadership that day but his actions. I observed how his progress was mirrored back by the appreciation and respect of his constituents. It is in the eyes of those we serve where we learn most about our leadership.

As I stood in the airport in Taipei, Taiwan saying goodbye to my new friends, Nicole Hsieh and Joanna Chang, I suddenly felt emotional. We had just met 3 days before but had spent almost every waking minute together during my short trip there. I had come to speak at a leadership forum that also included a nonstop schedule of lunch and dinner banquets, press interviews, panel discussions and meetings with prominent business owners, politicians and women advocates. Nicole and her company, Circle Square, had organized my trip while Joanna had been at my side to assist with language translation and cultural nuances.

There are many special memories from my trip but it was the special connection with new friends that made it especially hard to say goodbye. Friendship formed in the moments before and after events where we shared details of our lives, our families and cultures. It was the curiosity to learn more about each other and the generosity to share aspects of ourselves that formed our new bond. To connect with another human, through shared story, is the joyful part of life. We are reminded of how much we share in common as human beings even when we are from different countries and different cultures. My friendship with Nicole and Joanna is the real treasure that I took home with me from Taiwan.